Join Maren as she sits down with Christina Castaneda, author and podcast host, to discuss audio drama, podcasting, creativity, and even manifestation. This is a conversation not to be missed!
Follow Maren
- On Instagram @supermaren
- On Facebook @maren.montalbano
Follow Christina
- On Instagram @savvycreativechristina
- Visit her website: https://www.savvy-creative.com/
- Listen to her podcast The Savvy Creative
- Catch up with the most recent chapter of the audio drama The Last Magician here
Purchase Maren’s debut book, Pandemic Passion: A COVID-19 novella on Kindle Unlimited
Transcript
(orchestra tuning)
Hello and welcome to The Bodice Ripper Project, an exploration of sexuality, feminism, and the journey to self-empowerment through the lens of romance novels.
I’m Maren Montalbano, opera singer, coach, and writer.
In this episode, you’ll hear me interview Christina Castaneda, author, podcast host, and creator of an amazing new audio drama, The Last Magician. This interview is long, so I’m skipping my usual intro.
Make yourself comfortable, loosen your bodice, and let’s begin!
(intro music plays)
Maren: I am so excited to bring on our next guest. Christina Castaneda is a writer and a host of The Savvy Creative podcast, which combines her love of writing and podcasting by featuring both interviews with female indie writers, filmmakers, or artists, and audio dramas with original stories, music, and sound design. She is also an entrepreneur who coaches leaders of creative teams and writers who want to build their entrepreneurial skills like podcast guesting, pitching leadership and beating imposter syndrome. Thank you so much, Christina, for joining us.
Christina: Thank you for having me. I’m super excited.
Maren: I’m so excited about this too. Cause I feel like there’s so much that we have in common and I just want to get right to it. First of all, why don’t you give us a little bit of your background? Tell us your story. How did you get into writing? How about, how did you get into podcasting?
All of that stuff.
Christina: Oh, my gosh. I was a kid who wrote short stories under the tree, summer break, have a stack of notebooks, have a stack of journals. Um, I always wrote stories as a kid. I absolutely loved it. And I wanted my podcast to be for all those women that were like me, that wrote stories all the time. That always kind of knew, but life got in the way with motherhood, career, whatever, or other passions that we might have pursued, or other fears.
Cause that’s what happened in my life. And, I really wanted to help them in that way. Now I loved writing novels. Um, but I could never get them. Like I just, I just was not as good as it, as I had wanted to be. Because they have such a, I mean, they can take any form, but they still kind of have a form. Uh, like you still pace it out slowly, like there’s so many things about writing a novel, it’s so many pieces together. Um, and I just kept getting frustrated and I kept sitting into the fear.
And then with podcasting, I actually worked in production. I’ve been a producer’s assistant. I have been one of those people behind the camera, behind the teleprompter, cutting all these corporate videos. And I am grateful, because it gave me a very good background in media.
And every week we produced three live podcasts per week. Two were in English, one in Spanish. And I was like, Oh my God, this is exhausting. But it was, it was fun because you gave a platform to people. They got to speak, they got to, help other women. And that’s what I really liked.
When I got laid off my job in 2018, I missed the production side of it all. I missed working with the crew. I missed putting something together. I wanted something more than just creating content for my social media. And I started the podcast.
And then, I was working with a client who I was helping him lead his online masterminds. And one of it was podcasting. So I was like, okay, well, I’ll be able to help them the more I do it. And, um, when you’re doing everything – first, when you have a crew and you’re doing everything with high-end equipment and editors and everything’s fancy, it’s great. But when you’re doing it on your own, you’re like, Oh my God, how am I juggling all this? Yeah. And you’re just like editing, recording, and there’s so many mistakes.
And all I wanted to do was just talk. Give me a space to talk about writing and to learn from all these people who were successful, like what they were doing. And podcasting is a hack to do that. People just come and they tell you all their secrets or they tell you how they did it.
And you’re like, really? That’s great. Um, but it also gave them access to an audience too. So, you know, everything’s great. We connect. And I just started getting all this really great energy from it. Um, don’t get me wrong. There were peaks and valleys. And I was just like, how could I keep combining writing and podcasting, writing and podcasting?
So that’s what I did to start off. My own podcast started 2018, but I had been podcasting with the crew professionally since about 2016. So I’d been all over the game. It was just such a rollercoaster, but when I saw that it was such a great opportunity, I was like, how could I not do it?
How could I not just dabble? It didn’t seem like as much of a risk at the time. It just seemed like, why not? Let me just, I feel like it, I can talk well on the mic. I’m just going to do it. And yeah.
Maren: That’s I mean, yeah, exactly. I know exactly what you, how you feel. I’m also super interested in your audio dramas too. You know, I love the fact that you have interviews and then you also have audio drama. So do you want to talk a little bit about that? And the last little, I almost said “The Last Musician.” That’s a little Freudian slip there. The Last Magician.
Christina: Audio drama, I started listening to Alternative Stories and Fake Realities. And I did a guest clip for him on his podcast. And I was like, this is kind of fun. And he edited it so well together with the soundscaping and everything. And that was when the pandemic first started. And I had always read my writing on the podcast before, but it was just me and my microphone, and that was it, you know?
And you know, it’s hard to do because you mess up, then you have to redo it. It’s hard. So I was like, during the pandemic, I was just kind of dabbling with the story and I was doing everything completely counterintuitive. Like I’m normally a rigid plotter. This time, I was like, pantsing. I was like, I’m writing whatever. I’m, I’m writing LA through my window. I’m just looking at LA. I’m kind of seeing people act crazy, and I mean, it was through different stages of the pandemic, you know, the first shutdown, the protest, the election, all of it. And I’m just watching LA through my window and I just started writing.
And then I did the first one just by myself and it was so bad. Like I’m doing multiple voices and I was, I don’t know what I’m doing. I have not, I don’t really have any acting training other than being a dancer and making faces, you know, or getting into character, but like not the speaking part. And I just thought, Oh my God.
But I got some love back. And then by the third story, a friend of mine, who’s a director, when I said, “Hey, do you know any male actors? I’m going to actually get an actor,” she started helping me, and it started to take shape. And I was like, Oh my God, like, why am I not doing this? After that it just started growing and, you know, we started getting more love, we needed more actors and now I’m in this world and I just, I can’t stop.
When the pandemic shut down a lot of production, I was like, this is our opportunity. Like, this is our opportunity. And then my director, my friend, she sent me the behind-the-scenes of Homecoming, the show with Julia Roberts. And that was originally an audio drama. And I was like, Oh, my God!
Now people are like, will you produce mine? Will you do this? I was like, Oh my gosh, this is crazy. I even thought of you too. I was like, Oh, I’m going to have to take Maren’s course soon. People keep asking me this. And I, I just thought like, wow, the stories that I couldn’t fit in a novel are now working on an audio drama, they’re faster to write. You get to give your characters just monologues because it’s kind of like theater, screenwriting, but yet the descriptions of a novel. So put all three of those together and that’s like audio drama. But I had a lot of fun. I was like, okay, this character has to have this epic monologue. I’m going to do it.
And you put the soundscaping in there, and it just sounded like it came to life and there’s just a certain authenticity in audio-only that you can’t fake. And I tell my podcasting students that. I’m like, it’s in your voice, and that’s why you have to be yourself or you have to let those ideas come out.
And when it does, there’s this fascinating connection. So being able to finally put my writing out there and not have to worry about the long process of putting a book out with editors and Amazon reviews, climbing to the top of the chart, getting beta readers, your art copies.
This is like, okay, here’s the script. Everybody, send in your notes. Are we ready to do this? Okay. We’re shooting. We’re in the edit bay, it goes out, and we produce original music. Like the whole, every step of it was just absolutely fascinating. And every step of it had different forms of creativity.
You had to put a different hat on. You had to really listen for what works, what doesn’t, you know. Learning how to act because I’m the main narrator. I, I even think God, I must sound so cheesy. But you, you have to let all that go too. Like, you have to release it and it’s just, it’s so scary, and you can’t, you know, you can’t go back and edit it so, well, I mean, you technically could, but yeah. You know, I, and that’s republished on your platform, but you know, I mean, I don’t, but that’s the thing. It’s like, it’s out there. It’s done. It’s all together.
And I remember this one moment, we were in the studio, recording the voices, and one of the actors who played like the fake prophet character, he had this, like, he was a well-trained actor. He had this deep voice. And he just really like, when you see someone master the craft, and you just see them in their zone, and you’re so close to them, I was like, I even closed my eyes and just let him read it and I could picture everything. And I was like, I told the director, I said, “That’s it. That’s the one, that’s the cut we need.”
And he just did it masterfully. And I was like, Oh my God, this is insane. And that’s when I was like, I need more of this. Like, I want this so bad. So yeah.
Maren: I love that. I love that story and I love everything about this because basically what it is is like you’re taking what you have in front of you in the pandemic, like all of your skillsets, you’re creating something new, you’re creating something that is only, you know, came out of literally the way that you see LA through your window, and it’s also, I mean, this like just totally gives me chills. The fact that you’re able to hire talent who are out of work, and need, I mean, not everybody’s out of work. I should actually say that there are plenty of us who are doing stuff, but we’re the ones who are pivoting, who are going and trying to find these new opportunities that are presenting themselves.
For example, I’m going to be a part of a podcast musical. Like who’d have thought that there was going to be a podcast musical, but like, of course, because why not? We can’t have a musical on Broadway, on the stage. Why not turn it into a podcast?
Christina: That is so awesome. In fact, we, um, are trying to do original music and we’re just doing this with a composer, but actually trying to write a song. That is fricking awesome. I mean, the only thing I’ll miss in the musical is dancing, but you can like, nobody knows that you’re dancing.
No, I, that, see, that is the vision. Like those kinds of things are what I want to keep doing now. And that’s so cool that you can do that. That’s amazing. And the actors, like selfishly, yeah. It sucks for them being out of work, but I have access to all these talented people right now. Like they were willing like, yeah, sure.
And they were happy too. I was like, I thought I was underpaying them, but they’re like, no, no, no. It’s great. Thank you. I’ll do it. I was like, You sure you have IMBD credits, like, I can’t pay you SAG wages just yet, but you know. Like I can, I can give you, I can give you something. But I was really blown away at the talent that was just out there and I was like, I’m not going to have this opportunity again.
Maren: Exactly. This is exactly what’s happening. And, to those of you who are listening, who are kind of thinking like, well, what, what is, you know, what do I have in the pandemic? What can I actually do? And how can I be creative? It’s right in front of you. There are so many different ways and it’s, it’s really, it’s a matter of just shifting your mindset or reframing things and trying to figure out like, not, who can help me, but how can I help myself.
Yeah.
Christina: yourself? And how can you give back too?
Maren: Yeah, totally, totally. So I have to ask this question. I need to ask about burlesque dancing. Tell me about it. Well, actually before you tell me, let me just tell a very quick story. When I first decided to do The Bodice Ripper Project, not the podcast, but the show, a friend of mine said, “Oh, you need to go see some burlesque.” And I was like, “Alright.” So they took me out and we went to a burlesque show.
I had so much fun. I was completely, my eyes were like wide as saucers. I was having like the best time. I actually bought some raffle tickets and I won a, a burlesque dance class. I took the class and I had a great time there too. And then of course everything shut down. Cause otherwise I was going to go take some more burlesque dance classes. So, anyway, tell me, I’m a fan, so.
Christina: Yes, I think everyone should do burlesque. And it’s funny, my last podcast that went live, the writer was a burlesque dancer as well. And I was just like, we geeked out for like 40 minutes, probably. Everyone’s like, get to writing. We’re like, no, we’re talking about dancing. So I had been a trained, classically trained dancer my whole life, but I’m very curvy.
So that did not go over well. You know, dancers like Misty Copeland who have the body, different bodies now, um, it’s widely accepted, but back then it wasn’t. And I was never picked for prima ballerina. It broke my heart, but I got picked for sexier things. And I started to embrace it. And then, you know, worked, had kids. In 2016, I joined a studio that taught burlesque classes. And the instructor is phenomenal.
She really like, it was Monday nights. Like, perfect. So. It brought up your week. And burlesque, you have to touch yourself a lot. Like you have to really, not just like this, but you have to like cup around your curves and slide your hands down around. And you know, you put your whole body into a booty pop to really make it, you know, to really add the effect. And you make the faces, you tease. Like, you do all these things.
And it just shot up my confidence levels like no other. And I absolutely loved it. I was so addicted to it. I strut around even when I’m like in Whole Foods, you know? Like just, it makes me want to do that so much. And I had a lot of body conscious issues from, you know, multiple things growing up. And I, you know, I was always just kind of like self conscious and it helped me really become shy. It helped me become confident, helped me take more risks. I mean, you’re rolling around on the floor. You’re doing all these things.
And so the studio, I got to perform again because they had adult dance teams and that was the first step. And then I auditioned for a local LA company, called LA Unbound. And that was the next step.
And that one, we did a little bit more theater, but you know, we have to, we’re in these formations and you have to touch each other. So you have to get really close with each other to be able to do that because you have to sell it, you know? And it was just a way to bond with other women. It was a way to really express myself.
And I remember the first show I did. I was like, wow, I’m about to do a show in fishnets and booty shorts and red sequins. And it was great. Just going back to my days as a dancer, having your bag packed for the show, you know, having everything: bobby pins, hairspray, extra tights, like, you know, changing in front of everybody in the dressing room, like having to just drop down and change.
And it was, it was so freeing. And even one of the studio owners came up to me and asked, he asked, “How do you feel?” And he knew I was different. Like he knew I was a completely different person within a span of four months. And I said, “I feel 18 again. I feel so young. And I feel so energetic. I feel so happy.” I was a completely different person. And I’ve just been hooked ever since I put the videos on my Instagram and other moms were like, where do you take your classes?
And for the first time, I had a group of students and we’re trying to get them to like, be more active. So I said, okay, everybody come to a burlesque session with me. And they were like, what? And I said, “Oh yes. We’re going to whip our hair. We’re going to roll around on the floor. I’ll be gentle, but I’m going to show you like, how to walk around confidently.”
And one student, her name is Roxanne. I absolutely love her. I’m so proud of her. And she said she had never taken a dance class, but she took my little Zoom burlesque, right? And she was whipping that hair. I was like, “Damn!” She was really trying hard to like, do a hip roll. And I was like, wow, look at her. And she said, she had so much energy and she felt great and had so much fun. And that made me so happy. Cause she was at such a down point in her life.
And I was like, Oh my God, I am so, so unbelievably happy that she got to have that shift. And seeing her happy, just, uh, it, it really, you really see what a ripple effect. And you’re like, Oh, it’s just, you know, fish nets and kicking and you know, Oh, that was, Oh, no, it’s yeah.
It’s, it’s so much more. But the fact that when I’m happy, other women get to be happy too. And just the friendships we’ve made. I mean, we, like, there was one time Fame was playing in Whole Foods and we were like, “You know what we have to do. You know what we have to do! We have to run around in the aisles and jump around.” And I’m like, we’re grown women. At the time, we were in their thirties and I was like, Oh, come on. You cannot, you can’t like not do this.
So it’s been the thing. I swear, burlesque keeps me young. It’s the one thing that like, just really keeps me happy, young, confident, and not frumpy.
Maren: Yeah, you have to touch yourself and you have to like, it’s all about the tease and the selling, but it’s like, I know I have this thing that you really want, you know? So you have to love yourself. And it’s really profound. It’s extremely profound. So yes, I, 100% think everybody should take a burlesque,
Christina: Yes go. It doesn’t matter if you have heels. It doesn’t matter if you have fishnets or anything, just go and just try it and just try to move. And you’ll first the hips crack. And you’re like, what the heck? I’m like my joints hurt. But after that, you’re just so happy.
And honestly, I think I started, I remember it was November 2016. And by March, I was already like starting my own business. Like I was taking more risks cause I felt so much more confident. Before I was just, I was so unhappy. I was overworked. And then, when I was taking classes, I was like, I’m out the door at five o’clock so I can get to burlesque by six. Like, it was no negotiable for me.
It was like I’m leaving. Instead of overworking. It was such a turning point. That really opened a door. I found myself again, I guess is the best way to say it. It was a, it was the first, first way of like, You know, Hey, come back here, Christina, welcome back. Now you can go on the path you need to, instead of burning yourself out and taking anti-anxiety pills and drinking, which all of that was going on.
But when I was dancing again, it was like, okay, you can stop that now and focus. And then I started writing again because I hadn’t written for years. Like all of the things started coming back.
Maren: So beautiful. That’s really, really, really beautiful.
Tell me about your favorite artists or creators. Do you have one or two, favorites?
Christina: Um, I think, uh, as for a filmmaker, Ava DuVernay, probably the most well-known, um, just fantastic. Just what she’s done, not just with film, but as far as being in the business, doing multiple genres. Normally you’re in one box, but she’s, you know, worked with Oprah and then she’s done the documentary. She’s been able to dabble in different things and she’s just really good at what she does. I mean, she’s, some people just have a really great eye for story and she does.
And then as far as being an amazing artist and business woman, um, cause I admire people who juggle both hats the way we do, Lucille Ball, probably one of my top favorites of all time. I grew up watching. I Love Lucy, um, like on reruns, over and over and over. My grandmother always had her stuff around. My father actually went to school, a private school when he was a kid, um, with Desi Arnaz Jr. And he would tell these stories about Desi Arnaz Jr., like nobody really liked him. Cause he was like a, he was like a rich kid who had a lot of money, but he was still kind of like, you know, a little bit, a little bit hood.
Um, so it’s kinda funny. And then, um, my dad actually befriended him. So he would tell stories about, um, about Desi Arnaz Jr. So, so Lucille Ball. And I mean, them being so iconic, the way she handled business, the way that they moved west and shot with three cameras, they were the first to do that. They bought the rights. Like everything was, they made such smart decisions.
And, you know, she struggled with relationships and Desi was no, you know, easy person to work with. And neither was all, a lot of the other casts and their scandal and everything. But I mean, she built an empire. I mean, like she built an empire and she, the story, the script, like everything was so good about what she did.
And, uh, I just, I admire her so much and I, I had little I Love Lucy stuff everywhere. Like I love getting just little memorabilia things of I Love Lucy, cause it reminds me of her. And then, um, just that “I’m going to be in the show,” that determination, that always kept me going as a dancer.
Like I am going to get a part in the show. I don’t care how small. And even now as an adult, I’m like, I’m still going to be in the show, damn it! I’m still gonna do it.
Maren: exactly, but you’re going to write the show. I mean, that’s the thing.
Christina: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And you actually gave me that idea, um, because I was really fascinated by your one woman show. And I, you know, I see all these sad, lonely theaters, the Wiltern, the, um, the Kodak, you know, um, it’s, it’s not the Kodak now; it’s called something else. The Dolby, where they have the Oscars. And I see these sad theaters, El Capitan across the street. And I’m like, God, this is so awful. And then I’m like, wait, let’s bring theater back. Like I was like, first it’s going to be audio drama, and then I’m going to produce theater. And then I was like, no, I’m going to do a one woman show in digitally and I’m going to do this.
But like that after our conversation, my, my imagination was just like, was just running. And I was like, Oh my God, like, this is perfect. Those theater companies, it’s sad that they’re going to go under, but there’s new space for us now. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, we’ll find great actors. I get to do, in the dance world, you know, maybe if I’m not a performer, but I’d get to be in that world a little bit more, which I really love. And I just thought, wow, the opportunity was just so clear in my face. And I kept thinking, what am I going to do? I’m tired of doing the online business. I’m tired of doing consulting.
It’s true. It’s really been, you know, working with clients takes a lot of energy out of you and, uh, I just couldn’t. Like, I just couldn’t see myself doing that. And the pandemic made us question a lot of it too. Like what do we really want to do? And that, to me, I was like, Ooh, Oh my God. Producing theater, producing audio drama.
Wow. Oh, wait. That’s a lot of money. Okay. We’ll figure it out. You know, like, don’t worry about that. Just think about the story. And I was like, Oh, that would be so brilliant. And I just thought, Oh my God, like it just finally all made sense.
Maren: That’s amazing. I feel like there are ways in which sometimes those synergies happen. So, you know, often when I feel like I’m stuck in my business world, one track thinking, just thinking about marketing and sales and nothing else, right?
If I step away and go work on something creative, if I start writing, if I just sing. If I like literally get some music out and sing, something inside me shifts and then something energetically shifts. There’s usually like, I’ll get a random email, you know, with some opportunity. So like there’s, there’s something really important for us, especially.
And I’m really speaking right now to all of the artists out there who have side businesses or something like that, and who feel, are worried that if they pay too much attention to their left brain activity, which has all of the masculine, accounting, you know, capitalistic kind of stuff and not enough to the right brain activity, which has all the artistic stuff, then they will not, they’ll be selling out. And that’s not true. I think there has to be a balance. And sometimes, working primarily with your right brain helps your left brain and vice versa. But you just, I wanted to point that out because for you, it really sounds like you have this, all of these really wonderful ideas and you have like the business brain for it too, you know?
Christina: The business, I mean, it’s still super hard to juggle both. I’m not going to lie. But the business brain puts you in touch with people. Because business is just relationships. Like it’s all about relationships constantly. And networking and building and getting leads and all that stuff.
So the more you get better at dealing people, the better you are writing about them. And you’re not necessarily writing about them, the actual, the literal people. You’re writing about the kind of the interactions and the things people say. Like, it just gets you into both. Now. I will say there’s a reason why I’m a better producer than I am a director.
And not that I can’t have it or I don’t have it. I need to develop it, I guess is the best way to say it. I try to talk positively, too, about these things that I know I’m not very good at. So the developmental story side, I need help with it. And I know I do. I would like to say I’m great and talented and I just know story backwards and forwards.
No, I need help. So I can produce and run the management side. Like if someone’s taking advantage of someone on my team, I can get back and say, Hey, you know, like let’s, you know, I can negotiate that and let my director or someone else be brilliant at what she does, or they do, right? If they can develop the story and focus on plot and character and refine that and, you know, be a little perfectionist and little, um, you know, cause, uh, just working with artists, you kind of get that. And I’m like, okay, if you’re good at that and you trust me to run the business side of it and you’ll take the payout, we’ve negotiated that, we’re good. Cause I can handle that.
I would love the developmental story skill. I really would, because I do want to get better. Like that’s my passion, and that’s why I didn’t put it out there. Cause I just felt I sucked at it and I was like, no, I just needed to trust the right person and work on it and refine it.
And then she needs me to tell her like, okay, this is not gonna make money. We’re not gonna sell t-shirts. Okay. Um, we’re going to figure it out. I’ll, I’ll figure out that side, just tell them, just find some talented people and we’ll figure out their rate, whatever.
So that ended up working out really well. And I feel like I’m helping the other artists not get taken advantage of, and they’re helping me with the story. And I feel like that’s the trade off anyway. You give value to someone else and then they reciprocate with either money or their time, and most likely the best, best case money. So that way it’s fair.
But that’s how I’m able to do both. I can’t be good at everything. I’m not going to try. I can get better, but, I lean on what I’m stronger at. And that’s why I think like I could produce these shows. Could I be the choreographer and the director? Probably not.
Um, but I could know, like, that’s a good story. Let’s do that. That’s great dancing. Let’s add that. You know? Like, okay, this is good. I’ll back it and we’ll produce it, you know? And then we’ll talk about all those logistics and things too, because I do kind of like that both. And plus I like, I like numbers. I like kind of seeing them fluctuate. Always trending up, though. Right? Keep trending up, keep trending up. I know it’s peaks and valleys, but at least go up. And I’ve always been that way.
Not every writer is going to like numbers that way, but you know, for me, I do like the numbers and I can run them really fast. And that’s always given me an edge in sales and everything. I’m like, I can get you this. Here’s what I can do, add this and this and this together. I got that. Here’s my invoice; pay now. Uh, kind of, not that abrasive, I’m not a pressure sales person, but you know, I. I just, you gotta, you gotta lean on what you’re good at and not feel ashamed for what you’re not good at. Just double down on it and then grow it big and hire talented people or work with talented people.
And then you actually learn more by giving other people an opportunity to work together. You learn from them, they learn from you. It all works out. So it’s well, if you. Personality wise, if you could work together. But, but, um, but for the most part, like you just build these beautiful friendships. And you’ll learn more than you ever will in an MFA program or from a professor, anything. You will learn more working together.
Maren: There’s some quote that goes around. I don’t know who it’s attributed to: always surround yourself with people who are better than you. And I always try to do that. And it really is. It’s about relationships and it’s about finding the right team and, and who can work really well together.
Christina: That’s the other thing. I love building strong teams. And a lot of people are afraid to ask for help or, or that fear of rejection of having to work with a team. But leading teams is really hard. It’s. I mean, it’s like having children and they’re just like, “Well, what about this? Well, she said this about me and I, she said that,” and you’re like, you guys are adults. Stop.
It’s about gently approaching different situations. It’s been really hard, but leadership has been probably one of the biggest things that I had to take on in 2020. And I was like, wow, I’m actually good at this.
And people are coming to me for help. Opportunity! You know, because especially when you’re doing stage or when you’re doing a production, if management is not good at the top, it ruins everybody’s day. It just floats down to the talent. It floats down to the crew. Everybody is miserable.
And guess what? We are behind schedule, we don’t get what we want. People aren’t working together. You can see it in the shots. You know, like, it’s bad for everybody. So if you can lead with that really great sense of teamwork and we got this and we’re going to get something great. And when you wrap, you know, everybody’s like, “Yeah, we got it!” that’s what you want. And that’s going to bring you more people back.
But it’s hard. It was hard for us. It was insanely hard. But when you guys do it together as a team, I know it sounds like a cheesy sports movie, but Jeff Bezos himself couldn’t pay for a team that was really solid in unified and working together. And he wished he could, he wished he could put a price tag on it, but he can’t. It’s hard to find people that gel together.
Maren: It all comes down to your intention as well, right? You know, you showing up with intention, and being yourself and owning who you are as the authority, as the leader, stepping into that. And I think that that’s really beautiful, and we should all do that, for sure.
When I talk about bodice rippers, I usually use it as a metaphor. We’ve talked about this a little bit. About how the bodice is restricting you and you want to rip them all off so that you can let your true self out. So what right now is your metaphorical bodice? What are you ripping off? How are you letting your newest true self out?
Christina: I think a lot of it was letting go of taking on clients that weren’t right for me. Because I thought I was being more successful: “Close, close, close, get those sales, get that money. Oh my God. I have to prepare in case COVID or whatever.” And I just kept saying “yes, yes, yes” to everybody. And I was so miserable.
Even my assistant was like, “Why are you doing this?” Or, “Why are you working with this person? They’re jerks.” And I didn’t realize that it trickles down from the top as well. Just like your, your crew. It could also trickle down to employees if you don’t have the right customer. And I stopped feeling aligned.
And I was, and that’s when the audio drama really, it was just right place, right time. So I’d say, um, the audio drama is probably my bosoms popping out. what was restricting me was feeling misaligned. And just, and I think you’re just going to have those days, no matter how big you grow.
You have to kind of course correct yourself and say like, where are my values? Do my values still match? Is this still what I want?
And it’s not you when you’re doing it on a bad day. It’s just, you kind of look around like, okay, I have nicer things. I have a better quality life. I have the life I thought I wanted. I’m podcasting and I’m meeting all these amazing women. Which, you know, that still gives me fulfillment, but you know, doing the consulting by myself.
And, um, I was dealing with some really bad complainers, too, who were taking advantage of me. And that was just sucking my energy to the point where I was like throwing my phone, like literally throwing my phone, like on my bed and just like walking away. And I said, this should not be, this should not be happening. I know bad days will happen. But I’m really miserable.
So that’s when I was like, okay, I’m going to start focusing more on the audio drama. I’ve got some money saved and I think I can start pouring it into this. And I’ve, I think it’s time to start transitioning into something different.
And that’s what was really hard for me. And plus I wasn’t using my time very well either. Like when you’re working one-on-one with people and when you’re doing these big projects and you have to deliver on them, it’s a lot of time. It’s a lot of time. And I felt like I was more self-employed than I was like a business owner.
And that’s when I’m like, no, I’m going to produce. We’re going to make some great stuff. We’re going to make money from it. And then we’re going to do the theater and we’re going to do the next thing. Like audio drama is the first step. Then theater might be the next thing or film might be the next thing or some whatever’s in between. There might be some new form of media we don’t even know about. But I’m going to be ready for it.
But yeah, it just told me like, You don’t have to always teach people. You don’t always have to do this kind of work anywhere. You can go back to entertainment and you can go back to telling stories. And I was like, that’s really pulling me where I want to go. And I think it was not that long ago from when, after we talked, that I really started having those feelings.
And then when I made the decision to just go all in on audio drama and start phasing out, or at least let someone else take over different parts of the business, I started making kind of like a transition plan to focus on this more, I got some of my best pages that I’ve had in months. Like, in months!
And I actually sat down, sat my butt in a chair, and wrote without my phone. Like, I’m like, Oh my God. Hello, creative flow. Where have you been? Like, I felt like I felt it was like, after taking the burlesque, I felt like myself again.
And I was like, okay, clearly this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Why did it take me so long to get here? And I was like, well, you know, I was able to sustain myself now. I have a little space for risk, you know, like I have some space, I’ll be fine if I jump in a few months, you know, happens just like, when you leave your job for your business.
I was like, okay, I’m ready to jump again. It just goes to show, there’s never a direct path there. And I’m grateful for every step of the path I’ve been on. And I, I didn’t want to feel bad about feeling bad for where I was at. And I didn’t really have anyone to talk to about it either.
It was really hard because I’m like, I’m not ungrateful. I’m just really lost. And having someone understand that was, I didn’t know who to talk to about it. I really didn’t. This actually the first time I’m saying this. because I just had no other way to say it other than audio dramas, the bosoms and the, that kind of constricted feeling of not knowing which one to double down on is the bodice, really. So, yeah.
Maren: Beautiful is so beautiful. And thank you for, um, sharing all of that. I I’m actually a little bit, um, at a loss for words, which is weird for me, but, uh, yeah, I don’t, I don’t know that I can, um, wrap that up in any better way than, than you have. Really like, honestly. I’m in awe of your determination, of your understanding of yourself, of your love of yourself and like how you’re taking care of yourself.
It’s a beacon. So really thank you. Thank you for sharing that, that sharing, sharing your light with us. And all of your just wonderful creativity. Seriously. It’s just so inspirational.
Is there anything else that you want to talk about before we close?
I definitely want everybody to listen to the Savvy Creative podcast because it is pretty amazing, um, and definitely listen to the audio dramas. Where else can people find you?
Christina: Instagram, savvycreativechristina, um, savvy-creative.com. You can get some writers’ business resources. And then of course, Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts, those are the main three ones. Everything else, eh, just enjoy that and just have fun. Uh, there’s lots of fun on those too, because I have way too much fun with IG reels.
Um, So, no thank you for letting me get that out. Cause it’s just, you know, like when, when you’re by yourself and you’re kind of doing all this thing, you never get to talk about these things. I can’t believe I, like, but thank you for giving me the chance. Cause I’ve been working through it and struggling in my own mind and it’s been really hard about which direction to go and the pressure and people’s expectations.
And then when you said like your intentions, I was like, Oh yeah, you should always put intentions over expectations probably. Like that’s probably the, like, I always, I remember a mentor told me that, um, before, and I was like, yeah, I feel like it’s other people’s expectations of me that’s been getting in the way. And I’m like, I just want to do this. I want to do something fun and creative. And it’s about time that I really feel like myself.
Anything I want to talk about? Let’s talk about manifesting! I wanted to say that on my last podcast, but I forgot! And I was like,
Maren: That’s right. I forgot too. Yeah, let’s talk about manifesting. Okay. All right. Well, how into manifesting, I haven’t really shared very much of this with my, with my podcast audience, but that’s fine. I’m a little bit woo. Like I’m a little bit, a lot
Christina: love woo. I totally love woo. It’s the best it’s, woo are like my people. I love it.
Maren: So, so, you know, as far as manifestation, I really didn’t know anything about like the Law of Attraction very much, or at least like what it was called, you know? Um, probably until actually fairly recently. Like when I was great, I grew up in California. So like, I was definitely, like, I knew all about crystals and I knew a lot about like, you know, various different, like putting your intentions into stuff and like, you know, reading tarot cards and all of that.
Um, and I have, uh, I’m going to, I’m going to share something. Oh my goodness. This is, this is super vulnerable. Cause I don’t, I don’t think I, I share this with very many people and like now I’m sharing it with the public. Um, when I was a kid I would go out into, we had this big, huge, uh, garden and our house sort of overlooked a creek. There was a creek that ran through our backyard. And I would, um, go outside and play in the garden and I would talk to the fairies. So like, I was definitely one of those kids who like saw and, and felt things that were outside of where we are, you know? And, um, I don’t think that I’ve consciously manifested anything in my, in my, um, childhood. However, uh, I did end up going to the college that I went to actually went to Tufts and New England Conservatory in their five-year double degree program, on a really, really huge scholarship. And they were the only, non West Coast school that I applied to.
And I really, really, really wanted to get away from home. So like, I was like, this is like putting all my eggs in one basket. I didn’t even go and visit or anything like that. We didn’t have any money. And I got in on like this amazing scholarship and I went, and it was the best thing for me. So I think I manifested that.
I just didn’t know that I did. So, yeah.
Christina: but you saw yourself there. You could feel it you’re
Maren: Yeah. Yeah. I, yes, I did. I absolutely. I had like all of these different, um, you know, pictures in my mind of like what it was going to be like, what was going to feel like, you know? And, um, and that’s, that is what happened. Now. Let me also give, tell you another manifestation story, and then I’ll let you tell it because I really want to hear some of your stories.
But, The Bodice Ripper Project. So this point I knew about manifestation and I’m like, well, let me see what I can consciously do. So I wrote out, what I wanted to like what the, end outcome I wanted. And I wrote out the feelings and I imagined myself in this space where I was just completely delighted.
And it was just in this, like, like, laughter was like bubbling up from inside me. And it was just an amazing feeling. And everybody around me was feeling that too. And, uh, at that, that time I thought it was going to be a live show. So it was sort of picturing like, you know, looking out at an audience.
Right before I went on for my first show digitally, I felt that feeling. I was like, Oh my God, this is it. I actually am experiencing this, like I did manifest this. So yeah, those are my little manifestation stories,
Christina: no, but that’s the, I’ve had that moment too, where you’re just like, it’s kind of like a weird déjà vu, but a happy one. Yeah. I’ve, I’ve had that feeling too. And you kind of realize that you’re like, wait, that was what I asked for. Um, I had actually, I love quantum, it’s kind of like quantum physics, but it’s not, it sounds science-y, but it’s really not.
It’s like quantum jumping, I guess, is the word for it. I absolutely was obsessed with that for awhile. So I tried it and, um, I tried to manifest a lot of money because at the time I was not doing well in 2019 through 2020. I had to pay my son’s $22,000 tuition, college tuition. I was like, Oh my God.
What am I going to do? And then when I looked back, you know, I thought like some big check was going to come in some windfall, but when I looked back and crunched the numbers of the abundant year for 2020, that it was for me, but I was like, Oh my God, I had a surplus of more than $22,000. And I was like, Oh my God! But I didn’t, my eyes were looking for something so specific.
I was like, Oh, windfall, I’m just going to get, something’s going to happen. I’m just going to land a major client. But I had these extra surpluses in different spots that added up to the total, but I foolishly did not, I did not have good intentions. Like I kind of was like, well, I’m kind of bored, pandemic, retail therapy kind of stuff, which was pretty bad, which was pretty bad.
Um, Because it was just like, Oh my God, I squandered my blessing from the universe. So, um, I love really just, uh, well, I mean, I, I,
Maren: I was going to say it’s it’s all there. So it’s okay.
Christina: yeah, yeah, but it told me that it could, and it also told me, like, you need to pay attention to the universe more. Like, you need to pay attention to what’s opening up for you.
What have I manifested? Oh, the home I live in right now, um, definitely manifested, uh, because we we’re living in such, apartments really trigger me cause I’ve had pretty crazy neighbors and landlords.
So I was really scared I wouldn’t find anything. And this is a temporary place. It’s fully furnished and everything. But it’s meant to be temporary. It’s definitely way too expensive to keep, but it was the right stepping stone we needed because I started meeting people like in the complex and things, so that worked out.
But I love the quantum jumping two cup method. It’s kind of like wishing though. Like sometimes you’re just like, Ooh, this is dangerous if you don’t have a lot of good intentions. So like,
Maren: So I’m really curious, is this a Joe Dispenza step? Cause I’ve read Joe Dispenza’s stuff.
Christina: I love Joe Dispenza. Oh my God. I have his abundance meditation. a different.
Maren: I don’t have the abundance meditation. I just have the morning and evening meditations. And those are like just, pay attention to the thing that you wrote down earlier kind of thing. So, yeah.
Christina: I actually met him in London. I didn’t know. I didn’t know who he was. I was like, Oh, hi there. And he came to the studio one of my clients was running and he was a guest on his show and I was like, “Oh, hi there, what’s your name? Oh yeah, that’s great. What’d you do?” Like, I didn’t even know who he was. And everyone’s like trying to take selfies and I’m like, “Here, I’ll take the photo. I’ll take the picture for you.” And I didn’t even know it was him.
Maren: Oh, my God.
Christina: and then later on, people were like, “You don’t know who he is?” And then as he got bigger and bigger, cause this was what, 2017 when I, or no 2018. So he wasn’t like as big as he is now.
But I was like, I talked to his, it wasn’t his wife, it was his manager. And, uh, and he’s from San Diego. So he’s not far from, like, he’s very Californian. And I’m like, “Oh yeah, I know San Diego. Oh, that’s great.” Like, I’m just making the small talk with him. didn’t, I had no idea who he was. But it was, it was pretty cool. Because I love his stuff.
But yeah. Um, a lot of the visualization he uses, I use that. I use Mind Valley. Um, I love their stuff too. They’re really good. I always had a problem with dreaming. I’d have really crazy dreams. And I felt like it was always cause of stress as well. So that helped.
I did try to manifest love, and this is actually embarrassing.
So I was dating this comedian and I was like, wow, my standards really got low. Cause the guy was broke. He was very sleazy. And I was like, what am I doing? I must be like, I haven’t dated for awhile. Why am I doing this? So I said, I’m going to manifest love.
And I really, I put an intention out there. It was this powerful moon. I did the quantum jumping two cups.
And within a week I met someone. And then of course it didn’t work out, but it was the first time I actually had like a, I actually was vulnerable with someone. Like I was able to get through some intimacy issues that I had been holding back. Um, I raised my standards after that. I said, okay, why was I with the previous loser?
Who was just, I mean, the guy didn’t, the guy was just broke as a joke. And just like, he, he even said my friends were hot. And I was like, Oh dude,
Maren: Oh,
Christina: like, no, no, no. And then when that happened, I was like, what am I doing? Like, why am I, what am I doing here? And my son had just left for college too, so I was sad and not making great decisions either, clearly. But I had manifested that.
And even though it didn’t work out, it put me on a direction of like what I really want in a relationship and that I should value making time for someone and actually meaningful conversation, not the, “Oh my God. Did he text me or not text me back?” game. You know, like none of that was happening. And I was like, Oh my God. I can have this!
So now I’m doing a lot more inner work as well. I buy up a lot of courses and I bought a woman’s course for this to help. But I think it put me in the pack there by trying to manifest it. And also knowing like, okay, I have some stuff to work on.
But yeah, I like that. Meditations and just feeling aligned. Affirmations. I try a lot of different things and I try to stick with them. Oh, I, I record my affirmations.
Maren: Yes,
Christina: Yeah. And I, yeah, I love it. I listen to it when I drive, and I’m like in my car, it’s just like, I am healthy. I am wealthy, you know,
Maren: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have an app called ThinkUp where you can record your voice saying your affirmations and then they put a background of like, you know, beautiful meditative piano music behind it. Do you know? So that’s
Christina: Cool. I’ve seen that. And it gives you notifications too. Like it’s time for affirmations or it’s three, three, three, or something like that, or 11, 11. That’s cool too. Do you see, do you see those numbers? I see 11, 11.
Maren: Do I see, I see a lot of those and yeah, it’s usually 11, 11, or, um, sometimes 555. So that’s like the number that, that pops up a lot recently. And I know that they all have meanings and sometimes I look them up, but generally I, to me, it just says like, You’re okay. You’re protected.
You’re on the right path and you don’t have to worry. Like just stop worrying. And I need that. And you know, the thing is, we all have inner work to do. Like all of us, like, unless you are fully enlightened, um,
Christina: Yeah. Who are you? Where’s the unicorn.
Maren: You know, we’re, we’re all works in progress. And I think that that’s okay. I think that’s a part of why we’re here, you know? Thank you for geeking out with uh, on that with me.
Christina: I always wanted to do an extra weekly show about like astrology and manifesting and all these other things and tarot cards, which I have no idea how to read by the way, but I just really think they’re cool. Um, I just really like them. And I wanted to do something. Um, I I’ve always wanted to put something together.
I don’t know. Maybe that’ll be another thing I do in 2021. Or something for artists like, you know, um, blocks when do we create? But I had always wanted to do that because I’ve always loved astrology. And I didn’t know what manifesting was as a kid. And this goes back to, to your point, because I grew up in a really strict Catholic family.
And also I lived in Texas for a few years and I went to an evangelical school for like two and a half years. And that is like, devil’s work, you know, it’s like, it’s bad. And, and I was like, but why is it? But I’m feeling something. Like, to them manifesting was like witchcraft, but then you’re like, Oh no, it’s me being in touch with the universe.
And I had to like, know that it was okay and it wasn’t a bad thing. Yeah.
Maren: Well, that mean it’s all about society, the conditioning that we get from society and how to deal ourselves. The more that we can just kind of let go of those outward things and just listen to our intuition, listen to the universe and listen to our heart, the better off we’re going to be in general. That’s when we’re going to find true success. Look, if you want financial abundance then yeah, sure. Or, you know, or, or love in a relationship. Yeah. Those things are available, but like really all of them that has to come from within first, you know?
Um, so that’s why we all do the inner work. That’s why, um, know, it’s so, so, so important.
Christina: So with my students, a lot of them are like, how do I monetize a podcast? How do I make money? And I’m like, look, if you’re stressed about money and you’re begging and begging for it, it’s probably not a good thing for you to have it because you’re going to be like one of those lottery winners that blow it all.
And I tell them that. I’m like, you know, abundance and entrepreneurship does not help money problems. It multiplies them. So if you don’t do that inner work about like, okay, I’m gonna, I’m going to have this healthy relationship with money, which we all still need to do.
I feel the universe gives you what you can handle when you’re ready. Cause if you can’t handle it, it’s gonna make you worse off. I definitely try to tell people that. Don’t wish for the lottery ticket; build something great and get that surplus every month.
And I was wishing for the lottery ticket. It never came, but the surplus helped me build something great. So, yeah.
Maren: I love that. Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you for bringing this up. I’m so glad we got a chance to talk about it.
Now I need to find out about the two cups manifesting. I really do. I’ve never even done that.
Christina: Oh, yeah. Um, okay, so you take two cups with water and water in one, and then you take a sticky note, like a post-it note, and you put “current state” and “desired state.” And the one with the water in it is your current state. And you put the other one with the empty one in your desired state. And then, um, it’s one thing, just really clear. And then you say your current state.
Like, um, with my home, uh, we had a bad landlord, roaches, crazy Karen neighbor next door, who was making our life miserable. We had broken stuff, homeless people around on our street. And so we put how miserable we were on the current state.
And then desired state: comfortable home. We’re happy. We have a pool. We have a balcony, dogs are safe. Boundaries with the neighbors. So when you have a current state, you say it, you talk about it out loud and you say it holding the cup of water. So the water gets your energy. And then you feel like the water capturing it, and then you pour the water into the desired state.
And then you talk about how wonderful it is. We love our home. Um, we love swimming in the pool. Our dogs live sitting on the balcony and sunbathing, which they do. Um, I love cooking in my kitchen, all those things. And then once you feel like you’ve shifted that energy, you drink the water. And just after that, put the cups away, tear up the paper, throw it away and just go to sleep and don’t bring it up and don’t keep wishing for it.
Like you do it once and you let it go, you release it. And then in some weird way, it just happens. So it’s, there’s lots of YouTube videos on it.
It’s like manifesting in any way. Like you get it, if you’re meant to have it, you know? If you’re not, then obviously you don’t. Like I tried to manifest different things for my business. A hit new course and product. Um, a big fish client. Like I tried that and it just didn’t come.
Or if it did, um, like if I did get a big client, it was a client that was not right for me. Um, or that was just a nightmare to work with. Um, and not necessarily them, but their staff. And I was like, Oh my God. Cause that did, that happened with one person. And I was like, Oh God, what did I, careful what I wish for.
Quantum jumping is, it’s pretty interesting. I was like, how did I not know about this? If I knew about this, when I was younger, I’d be like a, such a different person.
Maren: Well, probably because you weren’t meant to know about it,
Christina: exactly. I would be like, Oh, I would be, I would have been too immature.
That’s the thing. I would have been like, okay. House, car, all these things. But no, it’s like, you really realize, I think you have to have a good relationship with the universe. Be trusting of the universe at that point. Cause like when you’re young and reckless, you’re not.
And even when you’re full of self doubt, you’re not either. So
Maren: Well, this has been such a pleasure. I just love talking to you, Christina, like seriously. So one more time, go to the Savvy Creative podcast. Go subscribe, listen to all of the episodes because they’re amazing. And, uh, go and check out, her on Instagram, savvycreativechristina.
Thank you so much for being here.
Christina: Thank you. This was fun.
And I will leave it there.
Join me next episode, which I finally begin reading Desire’s Peak, a story I wrote while on tour in Montana.
Stetson Lawrence lifted his head up groggily. His neck was stiff, his back ached, and something on his forehead felt cold and wet. Blood? He touched his fingers tentatively to his brow and examined the residue. It was clear and thin, slightly sticky, and smelled a little bit like kerosene.
I’m recording this on Grammy Awards night, folks. I was on an album that was nominated, but didn’t win, which is fine. And I have so much admiration for those who did win.
Especially, I want to give a shout out to Eric Owens and Angel Blue, whose Porgy and Bess won Best Opera Recording. If you don’t know who those people are, I suggest you definitely look them up. They are amazing singers. Just true, true artists.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter. I send out love notes and exclusive content to my subscribers. So go on, head on over to bodiceripperproject.com and sign up.
And of course I love hearing from you guys. So if there is anything about this episode that spoke to you or any other episode, go ahead and DM me. You can find me most easily on Instagram. I’m @supermaren.
The Bodice Ripper Project is a production of Compassionate Creative, and was conceived, written and edited by me, Maren Montalbano. The theme music was also written by yours truly. And if you liked what you heard, I invite you to give me a five star review. You know, I keep asking every week and sometimes some people do, and when that happens, I just get a tingly feeling all over the place. I’ll see you next time.