The Bodice Ripper Project

Podcast Episode 30 – Sexual Health with Christine DeLozier

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by

maren
in

Maren sits down with acupuncturist and sexual health expert Christine DeLozier to talk about nutrition, self-love, and even some tips for how to give good oral sex.

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Transcript

(orchestra tuning)

Hello and welcome to The Bodice Ripper Project, an exploration of sexuality, feminism, and the journey to self-empowerment through the lens of a vulnerable artist.

I’m Maren Montalbano, opera singer, coach, and writer.

In this episode, you’ll hear me chat with acupuncturist and sexual health expert Christine DeLozier to talk about nutrition, self-love, and even some tips for how to give good oral sex.

So make yourself comfortable, loosen your bodice, and let’s begin!

(intro music plays)

Hey there. Thank you so much for pressing play as always.

It’s summer. It’s a very hot day and I am standing in my closet recording studio with absolutely no air circulation. Um, and I’m trying to batch record a whole bunch of these episodes all at once.

This is a new thing for me. But I think it’s a good thing. What I’m learning about doing these podcasts is that doing the batch recording is actually much, much easier than recording, editing, and then releasing week to week to week. It’s actually a little bit like doing mise en place, if you do any cooking, you prepare all the pieces ahead of time and you, you know, create like, you know, you chop all the vegetables, and then you put all your spices in little cups, and stuff like that. And then once you’ve got everything arranged, then you assemble it. And the cooking time takes a lot less. I learned that from a cooking class that I just did recently. But I think that the metaphor definitely applies when it comes to podcasts.

Anyway, I am back in the swing of things. We’re pretty much all the way open now. There is still a pandemic on, but, um, I’m completely vaccinated, all the people I work with are vaccinated, and live performance is happening. Most of it is outside because it’s summertime. So that makes it a lot safer for audiences and performers alike. And there is all of this energy focused on getting back into the real world and reconnecting with one another in live spaces. And I certainly feel that energy myself, I want to get out of the house. I want to have coffee with people. You know, after 16 months of not being able to do that, I really do crave that connection.

What I’m realizing also is that it means all the things that I created for myself in my house during the pandemic, I’m going to have to reintegrate that into post pandemic life. It’s all just kind of a, an interesting experiment to figure out what that is going to look like.

But in the meantime, I am committed to finishing out season three. I have lined up a bunch of interviews and I’ve met some really amazing people. So I want to share those conversations with you, but things are changing. And I’m trying to figure out what’s next for this podcast, what’s next for me as a performer, and also as a coach and a writer.

So I’ve got all of these different things going on, and again, trying to reintegrate them into the live world as well as the virtual world and finding that balance.

This is a long way of saying that I have some fun stuff planned. It’s not going to be weekly, but it will come up in the future.

And that I’m really excited to have you on this journey with me. It’s an honor to be sharing my experiences with you. I’m so grateful to have you listening. So let’s get on with the interview!

Interview

Maren: All right. I am so excited to welcome to the podcast Christine DeLozier. She is an acupuncturist, and herbalist in private practice, and she specializes in sexual health. Christine attended the University of Rochester studying biology and psychology. As a young single mom she worked as a waitress and studied full time. She was trained to be a research scientist, but ultimately decided against a career in research. During her education she studied Chinese dietary therapy and earned a certification as a holistic nutritional counselor.

Earlier in her practice she treated numerous men for erectile issues with acupuncture who ended up having significant improvements in sexual satisfaction. After seeing how meaningful this improvement was to their lives she specialized in sexual health, expanding her practice to all who seek it. She wanted to do more to help them connect with their partners and bring joy to the relationships. Since then she’s treated adults looking to have great sex of all orientations. Christine, welcome to the Bodice Ripper Project.

Christine D: Thank you so much for having me. I’m really happy to be here.

Maren: Excellent. So we heard a little bit about your backstory here, about how you got into your education, but I’m really interested in how you got into holistic medicine in particular. Like, what was it that attracted you to that area of medicine?

Christine D: Honestly, it’s my love of nature. So I love all things natural. I love being outside. I love the trees and flowers and everything. And I just can’t be convinced otherwise that the best approach to health is by taking advantage of mother nature. You know, obviously modern medicine has a place for sure, and there are certain times when that’s exactly what we need in our lives, but for just promoting overall good health I just felt that that was the best way to go.

And so the modern medicine takes kind of a pharmaceutical approach, and alternative medicine tries to harness the body’s own ability to heal itself and also relies on things that exist naturally in nature to either treat illness or to promote health. So that’s where my love of it came. And in particular Chinese medicine offers so much. I mean, Chinese medicine is brilliant and it’s able to do so much without the use of pharmaceuticals. So that’s kind of how I fell in love with it.

Maren: I was immediately attracted to your bio when I first read it because when I was a kid my mom really got me into gardening very early on, and I loved being outside. I loved growing things, and I especially loved herbs, all kinds of herbs. And I even subscribed to the Herb Companion Magazine, and I would just read it cover to cover like multiple times. I learned a ton about herbs through that. And I even thought that could be one of my career paths, was like to become an herbalist. When I was in college, well I started off with a biology major. I actually ended up with a drama major, but I did take a plant biology class and I absolutely loved it. So this is kind of like right up my alley, so I’m really excited to talk to you about all of this.

Christine D: Yeah, aren’t plants wonderful? I just love them.

Maren: They really are. So what turned you into, like why did you want to talk about diet and sex, exactly?

Christine D: So most acupuncturists, we specialize in neck pain, back pain, you know, headaches, that sort of thing. That’s what we treat most. That’s kind of where our bread and butter lies because there’s a growing body of research to support the fact that it actually works to treat those conditions. So insurance companies, many of them will now pay for those conditions. I’ve always been passionate about diet and nutrition, the food we eat. I’m a foodie and I just love food. I love the aesthetic of food. I like making pretty food.

And when I had a patient come in he asked me one time if I could help him to have stronger erections. He was having some issues with him and his partner. And so I said sure, I’ll give it a go, I’ll try it out. You know, I was treating a lot of back pain at the time. This was years ago. And I tried it. It worked so well, he was so happy. He and his partner were so happy at the treatment results. And then shortly after that I treated another patient and the same thing happened, and I treated another patient and the same thing happened. And I thought you know, this really has potential to bring joy to people’s lives, and to really help them to connect with their partners and just really improve their quality of life. So I thought, you know, this is something that’s really meaningful.

And when I work with patients, just because of my interest in food and everything, I wanted to help them to support their treatment goals through what they were eating. And when I set out to write the book I wanted to see what the science had to say about it. So the fact that I trained to be a research scientist just came right into play as I was reading study after study after study to see, okay, what does the science have to say about this relationship? Is there proof? Is there evidence? I mean we all know that when you’re healthier you have better sex, but I wanted some more concrete things. I wanted specific foods. I wanted specific dietary habits.

So that’s what kind of led me there, is I would work with my patients and I thought, “You know what? I am talking these people’s ear off.” When they come into my office I’m like no, I have more to say, I couldn’t possibly tell you all there is to know about this in an hour acupuncture session. So I thought I’m going to write it all down and get it into a book, and then they’ll really have some information.

Maren: So it’s really not just like going in, getting some needles put in, and then going on your merry way. It’s all, I guess it lies in the name, holistic. It’s much more of like, making these lifestyle changes and these dietary changes that will increase your sex life, but also just make your life more enjoyable overall, right?

Christine D: Absolutely, because acupuncture can certainly improve sex, no question about it. I mean where we put needles, you know one needle we put in the perineum, you know, in between the vagina and the anus or the testicles and the anus, and that’s a major crossing point of nerves associated with sexual function. When we needle that point we get better nerve conduction, we get an influx in blood flow and patients have better sex. But we’re always looking to treat the root of great sex. And the root in the long-term is going to be in diet. You know diet has the capacity to promote vascular health.

You know when we think of great sex we typically think of a psychological phenomenon where we have a great partner. We have you know, we’re in a good mood. The mood is right. The circumstances are right. And when we think about it physiologically though, it’s when our nerves are firing strong, rapid impulses to and from the genitals, so when our partner touches us we feel a lot of pleasure. It’s when our blood vessels are delivering plenty of blood to the genitals, and that’s important for female pleasure as well. It’s essential for female pleasure. We all know it’s essential for male sexual function, but better blood flow, according to numerous studies, equals more sexual satisfaction for females.

And then finally hormonal balance. When we have those pieces in play we have great sex. And food very much affects this trifecta of great sex in the short term and in the long run. And there’s plenty of research to support that. I found so much evidence. I was really happy to find that science was supporting all of these things that we kind of intuitively know.

Maren: That’s fascinating. I love this. So a little bit of a, kind of an embarrassing question, but I’m just going to ask it. When you have somebody, there has to be a huge amount of trust if you are going to be putting a needle in somebody’s perineum. Like what does that, how does that happen? What kind of conversation do you have to have in the pre- screening part?

Christine D: Sure. I do talk to my patient about that first, ask them. Not everybody’s comfortable with it. I was surprised how many people were quite comfortable with it. The first patient that I talked to about that I was so nervous to even ask. You know I was like, oh my goodness this guy’s going to think I’m a pervert or something. But no, he was like, oh yeah sure, no problem. I just say, “Okay well, this is a needle that we usually use when I’m treating this. So are you comfortable with that?” Most people say, “Yeah sure, no problem.”

Maren: Wow. Wow, that’s amazing. And you don’t have any problems with people trying to take advantage of you in this like very intimate situation? Like how are you able to keep your boundaries?

Christine D: Yeah, that’s a really great question. And there have definitely been issues that have arose with that. I used to have two offices, you know in two locations, and one of them I would sometimes be there by myself at night. And there were, one situation in particular where I just felt really creeped out and uncomfortable with the way the patient was acting. And he was just asking me if I could give him a massage afterwards and it was just, I did not feel comfortable at all. That’s one of the reasons that kind of led me to just completely shift my practice over to just the one spot where I’m in with chiropractors and massage therapists, and there’s always a lot of people around. So yeah, I have had to remind people that I’m a professional and that this is a medical treatment, you know, at times.

Maren: That’s good. I’m so glad that you have been able to establish those boundaries because I think sometimes that’s really extremely difficult, especially people who are doing body work, which is essentially what you’re doing, you know? Oh, what was the other question? There’re, I have so many questions now.

So this book that you’ve written, and I guess I didn’t actually explain at the very beginning that you wrote a book. You wrote a book about diet and sex. I have not read it yet, but I took a look at it. I actually really want to read it, so I’m very excited for this. And I understand that there are some tips in this book for pleasing your partner through oral sex.

Christine D: Yes, there are.

Maren: So my biggest question, and you can tell me about some of those tips, but I’m really interested in what it was like to write those instructions, like, for you.

Christine D: Yeah, okay. So I mean, I didn’t consider myself to be an expert on the subject at the time, quite honestly. I mean, I had to do some research. And the research on pleasing the female anatomy came from two very good sources. In addition to just my research in general, you know my more academic research on this subject. I asked my friend, my lesbian friend who, she’s given her straight friends’ husbands tutorials on the subject because you know, a few of them didn’t know what the hell they were doing. So she’s really good at telling exactly what to do. So I asked her. And I also asked, um, a guy who I rated him as being the best at that. And so I had those two really strong sources. And then I also did some other, you know, other research on it.

Maren: Excellent. Now so the reason I’m asking is I write romance scenes, I write erotic scenes. And the podcast that you’re on I read a lot of this stuff. I set it to music and it’s just tons of fun, right. But for me like, I actually have to put myself in the position of the person, like in the character’s position, and you know, describe the feelings. And of course for you I think it’s probably, and again I haven’t read it, but I imagine it’s probably a little bit more like tutorial based. Versus like with the kinds of scenes that I write it’s like, “the electricity ran up her spine,” and you know, “with his touch.” And I try to get really like very descriptive with the feelings that I’m feeling so that the reader or the listener can feel those feelings. And so it’s a little bit of a turn on for me to write. So I guess my question to you is was it uncomfortable? Was it fun? Was it delightful? Like, what was it like to write and research that stuff?

Christine D: That was probably the funnest chapter I wrote because I was so curious about it too, because I’ve never performed oral sex on a female body before. So yeah, I was curious. This is the thing, you know what feels good but you don’t know quite what’s going on down there, you know, when it’s happening. So I was like well, how would I possibly describe that? I found it really fun. And I especially liked talking to my friend about it because she has a vulva. She has a vagina. So she knows both sides of things and she’s very able to articulate that. And so she just had such a great base of knowledge for that. No, I had so much fun writing that. I was not uncomfortable at all. No, no, I wasn’t at all.

In addition to the tutorial end of things it also talks about the general attitude of giving oral sex. When we think of it it’s an act of kindness to our partner, and sex should be kind. You know, we should be considering our partner’s pleasure as equal to our own. And so when we do something like that we go into it with our whole selves. We appreciate our partner’s body. We savor that experience ourselves. It is a giving experience but we also can choose how we view that experience as well.

And especially when some people are not maybe familiar with it or it’s a little bit foreign you can kind of enter oral sex having some anxiety or maybe discomfort. And that the more curious you are and the more you aim to try to learn about your partner’s body, then the better experience it is for both people. Because the person who is receiving wants to know that you are enjoying what you’re doing just as much as they are. So much of enjoying that experience and feeling pleasure is knowing that the person doing it is happy with what they’re doing.

Maren: Yeah, I can definitely remember times when either I know my partner wasn’t happy, like just wasn’t happy giving it to me, you know? Or even not happy receiving, and certainly I don’t want to be doing something that you don’t want to be doing, you know?

Christine D: Yeah. And that’s kind of been unequal. You know, it’s been disproportionate with men typically being on the receiving end and females feeling like we’re being a burden to our part.

Maren: Yeah. Right, right, exactly. And it shouldn’t be unequal. It should totally be equal. I love this.

Christine D: Yeah, I mean we typically take longer to have an orgasm, but you know, that’s just when compared with the male experience. But it’s such a turn on to have a partner who loves doing that.

Maren: Yeah, for sure.

Christine D: And so cultivating and appreciation for performing oral sex on any side of things definitely brings so much pleasure to your partner.

Maren: I’m going to ask this question because I have a feeling it’s on the minds of some of my listeners, but I know what my answer is. You know, because we’re talking about diet and sex, talking about food and sex, I’m personally of the belief that I don’t really want any food in that area because I don’t want bacterial infections or yeast infections. What would you recommend when it comes to like, bringing food into the sexual experience?

Christine D: Oh okay, so, well you know there are actually herbs, for example, that are used specifically in the sex act. There’s this one herb, I don’t know the English name for it but the Chinese name is soyong, and it was traditionally used even dating back thousands of years ago by concubines who were typically quite lonely. They had one sexual partner quite infrequently and they would often have sexual relations with each other. They would use this herb called soyong and insert, it’s I believe it’s a twig or a bark type substance. It’s an herb, and they would insert it in the vagina and it swells when it absorbs vaginal secretions. And it was like a dildo that they would use. So that’s one that a person could keep in mind.

But anything that tastes good. There are certain aphrodisiacs that actually really tastes good like nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, things like that. You can make those into oils and things that are quite pleasant. If you have an olive oil base you can mix any of those into that and it tastes really nice. You could also even, if you have food grade essential oils, you can use a little bit of cinnamon to spice things up, make it into like a warming oil.

So, I actually have one that I made. I didn’t make it for that purpose. I made it because I rub it on my patients if they have leg pain or back pain. But I’m going to show you, your listeners can see it, but it’s just olive oil with essential oils of cassia, cinnamon bark, cinnamon twig, and clove. And it smells phenomenal. It smells phenomenal, and so that would be something that might be nice.

Maren: I wish I could smell it, yeah. It looks like just one of those apothecary bottles that you can see at like perfume shops or herbalist shops.

Christine D: Yep. Yep.

Maren: Okay, so you’ve written a book. Is this your first book?

Christine D: It’s my first book. Yep.

Maren: Awesome. Tell me what kind of books you like reading.

Christine D: Ah, okay. So I have the books I read for pleasure, and then sometimes though I feel guilty reading those for pleasure, even though I shouldn’t. I feel like oh, I should be learning something here, and I don’t think that’s a good notion. But my sister actually got me a book that I’m about to read. It’s a romance novel, but it’s really hot in the sex department and I’m about to read it, but I can’t remember the name of it. I could look it up.

Maren: It’s okay. It’s okay. But do you normally read romance novels?

Christine D: I don’t read a lot of them. I usually read health books. That’s my favorite. Yeah, those are my favorite books to read. So I read most mainstream diet books, I read those. I read about holistic medicine, that you know, natural approach to health, those sort of books. I read a lot of those. So yeah, that’s probably the bulk of my library. Not the most exciting, but definitely helped with writing the book.

Maren: Absolutely, yeah. No judgment here. I am a big fan, as you could tell, of romance novels, but like everybody has their thing. And honestly, I actually have spent more time reading recently personal development books and you know, The Science of Sales, you know that kind of stuff. And I want to get back into the fun of disappearing into a world of romance and lots of sex. So, this is why I started the podcast, really.

Christine D: Well there’s sex in the book you know, for sure there is. Every chapter, whether you’re talking about hormones or nerves or other things starts out with a scenario between a couple. And then I have a whole chapter on just kindness, you know bringing kindness into your relationship for better sex as well as the sex tips. So there’s sex, lots of sex in the book for sure.

Maren: Excellent. Okay, so this is a question that I ask everybody. When I talk about bodice rippers, you know the Bodice Ripper Project, I really see that bodice as a metaphor for something that’s restricting us or holding us back. And we’re ripping it open to let our true selves out. So my question to you is what is the bodice that you’re currently ripping off or that you have ripped off metaphorically speaking?

Christine D: Well, in the book I feel like the bodice that we have to kind of rip off is our selfishness. And I’ll tell you afterwards maybe what my own bodice is. But I guess, in the book I focus a lot about this, is that we go around living life saying, “What can the world do for me?” You know, how can the world entertain me? How can I be happy? You know, what can I get out of life? And the question I think that would be the most fulfilling is, “How can I give?” You know, how can I give of myself? What do I have to offer the world? What do I have to offer my partner, my family, my community? And in doing so we shift the entire way that we think about things. Sex is so much better, but also life is so much better, if that makes sense.

Maren: It totally makes sense. I love that. Thanks for sharing that. That’s such a wonderful sentiment and I completely agree. I think that a lot of the conversations that I have with people about, I’m a singer, and people talk about the music industry and how it’s changing. And there are people who really are in this mindset of like, “What can the industry do for me? How can I get in with these people who are going to end up taking care of me?” And I think that that’s completely the wrong way of thinking about it. I’m definitely of the, you know, every single person has something to offer the world, and it’s just a matter of finding that and letting it shine.

Christine D: Absolutely. Yeah, we all have beautiful gifts. We just have to kind of discover them and let them shine and not be ashamed of what those gifts are.

Maren: Yeah. Yeah, that’s another really good point, just letting go of that shame. This is part of doing the Bodice Ripper Project, I had to kind of stand up and be okay with talking about sex a lot.

Christine D: Yeah.

Maren: And you know, sometimes it makes people feel uncomfortable, but I don’t feel uncomfortable about it. I’m happy to just do that and let the people who aren’t so comfortable with it, like they don’t have to listen. It’s okay. You know?

Christine D: Right, exactly. And for the rest of us you’re providing something that’s so meaningful and valuable and desperately lacking in so many ways.

Maren: Thanks. So what is your personal bodice that you’re ripping off?

Christine D: So my personal bodice, if I’m being completely honest, is just loving myself, quite honestly. I, you know just how I grew up, I grew up poor. And that came with a lot of, my mom was 14 when she got pregnant and you know, she had a couple of kids as a teenager. And so just coming to appreciate myself and feeling like I matter as a human being. So I think that’s the bodice I’m currently kind of going through. You know, that my needs matter, that I matter, you know so.

Maren: Yeah, you do. I love that, and thank you for sharing that because that’s also something really important I think that a lot of people are struggling with. You know, me too. I struggle with this. Sometimes my negative self-talk gets the better of me, you know? But most days, I’d like to say most days, I definitely can look myself in the mirror and absolutely love myself. And it’s on those days that I have the most success with all the things that I’m doing. And so it’s so important for all of us to really love and accept ourselves, trust ourselves to make the right decisions, and let go of those old stories, old traumas, you know all of that stuff. And it’s a lifelong process. So I’m really glad that you’re doing that. Christine, this is really a fascinating conversation and I really appreciate you coming on. For my audience, how can they get in touch with you? What is your book called? Tell me a little bit about how people can find you.

Christine D: Sure, it’s called Diet for Great Sex: Food for Male and Female Sexual Health, and it’s available on Amazon. And my name is Christine DeLozier, you can find me on dietforgreatsex.com or I’m also on social media.

Maren: Great, and I will link to all of that in the show notes. Is there anything else, Christine, that you wanted to share before I log off?

Christine D: I will share with you the number one food for sex. If you had to eat, if you had to change one thing in your life in terms of what you eat, I would say try to include leafy greens. And the reason for that is because it nourishes the entire trifecta of great sex. It promotes vascular health. It makes your blood vessels more elastic and able to deliver a better blood flow. It has lots of minerals and antioxidants, which will speed nerve conduction, which means you actually will feel more pleasure when your partner touches you. And also it helps balance sex hormones. So it reduces cortisol, which is a stress hormone. And cortisol can interfere with testosterone, which again, can disrupt how our libido and a lot of other aspects of great sex. So just one tip, eat lots of leafy greens.

Maren: Awesome. I’m going to make a kale smoothie right now. Wow, well thank you so much for sharing all of this, Christine. This has been such a great conversation. And I’m going to go right now, well after I make my kale smoothie, I’m going to go get your book and read it, and get all of those juicy little tips, and probably incorporate them into some of my stories.

Christine D: Great. Yeah, thank you so much for having me on your show.

Maren: All right. Take care.

And I will leave it there.

And I’ll leave it there. So I have about three interviews lined up in the next week, but they haven’t been recorded yet. So I can’t give you any teasers about what’s coming up next. However, I absolutely love these guests and I know you will too.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter. I do send out love notes and exclusive content to my subscribers. So go on over, if you haven’t done so already, to bodiceripperproject.com to sign up.

And I love hearing from you guys, if there was something that particularly struck you about this, or any episode, go ahead, reach out to me on Instagram. You can DM me @supermaren.

The Bodice Ripper Project is a production of Compassionate Creative, and was conceived and written, by me, Maren Montalbano, and edited by me and Andrew Carlson. The theme music was also written by yours truly. If you liked what you heard, I invite you to give this podcast a 5-star rating – you know, it really does make a difference! – and I’ll see you next time.